Tomorrow we take Tiny Love to the children's hospital for her "check up." This is an event that takes place every two years, and it really is an all day event. I dread it. I brings so many memories flooding back to my mind and heart, things I would like to never have to think on again.
Maddie was diagnosed with Craniosynostosis when she was eleven months old. I had no idea there was anything wrong with my little tiny baby, I just thought she was perfect. A wonderful doctor who attended church with us happened to notice some abnormalities in her head shape and voiced her concerns. I am thankful for that doctor every day.
Looking back on her early pictures, I see now that her head shape did get worse as she got older, but I just hadn't ever heard of such a problem.
We went to the children's hospital to see a Pediatric Plastic Surgeon. That title made me feel guilty, before I knew what these wonderful doctors do. They advised us that surgery was the only way to fix the problem and avoid a potentially serious situation later on. I left that day shocked, scared, and shaken to the core. We scheduled surgery, and I prayed and prayed and cried and called out to God on her behalf.
And He heard me.
Though immediately after surgery, she sure didn't look like it.
I was the most shaken I had ever been, or have ever been since. I couldn't bear to look at her at first, and that made me feel guilty along with scared. She battled blood loss, blood transfusions that just didn't end, and a collapsed lung. But she was strong, and God was faithful.
I clung to Him and tried to just keep going.
She took a step forward, she took a step back. It felt like years, but actually it was only five days. Yes, five days after surgery, Tiny Love went home. She never acted like she was in pain, though her pupils showed the effects of the trauma to her head. She never seemed to notice the wound on her head, though others looked terrified when they saw the massive amount of stitches used to close up her precious body. She never cried in the night, though I did.
Five days after coming home, we celebrated Christmas.
I thanked God for restoring her health and her smile, and He continued to heal her. To communicate all the ways God used this dark time in our lives to strengthen us is beyond my power of communication.
All I can say is, He is my Counselor, my Healer, my Good Shepherd.
That I know for sure.