Dear Tom,

I remember when we first met.  Me, so full of expectation; you, so full of promise.  I was in a place in my life when you seemed like just my type--natural, trustworthy, safe.  And you talked such a good game.  I knew that our relationship would go one of two ways:  either it would be all I ever hoped for, or it would stink.

Well, you let me down, Tom.  I was embarrassed and hurt, and I felt as if I had been duped. 

But, when we ran into each other again a few days ago, my weakness for your promises came flooding back.  I thought, "Maybe this time will be different.  Maybe things have changed."  I was so optimistic, so full of hope, so eager for our return to each other. 

And you, Tom, you failed me again.  Big time.  But, I won't waste my time being ashamed...I will tell the world how you lie, how you never live up to your squeaky-clean image, how you disappoint so completely.

Truth:  It is not long lasting, smells only slightly bearable, and you spend 24 hours protected from contact with other human beings, due to your smelly self.  Courtesy of Tom.

Tom, you burn me once, shame on you.

Your burn me twice, shame on me!